Two Key Questions for Work-Life Satisfaction
2024.07.19
Are you accidentally stuck in a rut?
The hectic pace of work and life tends to carry us along. Without noticing, we can end up in an unintentional pattern, working and living in ways that don’t really suit us.
This can be especially true of high-ambition, mission-driven leaders who are laser focused on making a difference while advancing their careers.
When you’ve been pushing hard and find yourself feeling a bit drained on a regular basis, here are two questions to ask yourself to get back to an intentional, cultivated way of being.
Question 1
What do you want out of your work and life, daily and long-term?
If you set aside the shoulds and expectations from others (and yourself), what do you want?
How do you want things to be?
How do you want to feel?
What do you want to accomplish?
How does this relate to your values?
How does this relate to your current and anticipated areas of responsibility - in work and life?
Question 2
What do you NOT want in your daily and long-term work and life?
If you had a magic wand, what would be different?
If you were going to leave your job, what would be dealbreakers in your new one?
Where are you sacrificing your vitality and well-being? Why?
How are your values getting stepped on?
What do you NOT want your future to look like – in 3 months, 6 months, a year, 5 years … ?
Chart a Path Forward to Greater Satisfaction
Follow these simple steps.
1. Devote an hour to free-write answers to the two main questions above.
You can use the supporting questions to help spark your answers. Don’t censor yourself. Dream big. Be particular. Then set your answers aside.
2. Take at least a month to let your answers percolate.
After the years of letting ourselves be (intentionally and unintentionally) conditioned by family, work, society, etc. it can take a while to truly figure out what we want for ourselves.
As you let things casually roll around in your brain for a month, it can be helpful to keep two running documents/lists going for you to jot down ideas as they come to you. Perhaps you set aside 20-30 minutes each weekend to review, revise, and add to your answers separately.
3. Synthesize your responses.
Once you’ve hit a week or two with no new insights or additions, look for themes across your two documents/lists. Often, you’ll have the same thing written on each list, one in its positive form and one in its opposite form (e.g., wanting to have energy left over at the end of the workday and not wanting to be in 7+ hours of meetings per day since it drains you) – perhaps one general and one specific. In addition to themes, what else stands out to you?
4. Make an action plan.
Given what you’ve reflected on, ask yourself “what needs to change in my kingdom”? Make as long of a list as you like. Then choose 1-3 things that you will act on in the near term and do some informal planning for each thing.
5. Make one change.
Choose one thing to proceed with, and go for it.